poo poo on 'da kitties.

So one day I see my child smearing his brown diarehha infested diaper all over the stairs. Not one stair, not two, but three cream colored stairs. I begin to get out that resolve that is in my medicine cabinent next to the toothpaste and scrub away.


It's not coming out. I feel utterly hopeless.


An hour passes and I notice the stain has worsened. As I am noticing this terrible spot, I smell poop again. I thought to myself, ... did he take off his diaper again?

No.

Its my roommate's two white, medium sized cats walk past me with hand marks off brown poop down each side of their body.



Remedy: One Baby wipe per cat. A little body splash of perfume.

No more poo poo on 'da kitties.

Duct Tape

Feeling Bloated? Feeling Chubby? Have big bones {big ribs}? I have a solution to these calamities. Temporary but has been tested.



Recipe:
1 Roll of Duct Tape
(preferrably grey but colored works as well)
1 Undesirable Body Part
Saran Wrap




Directions:
Lift clothing off of this terrible eye sore of your body. Take saran wrap and begin to cover this body part completely. Then take duct tape, suck in and cover this entire section with at least one layer. Cover with looser fit clothing and voi-la! You are 1-5 pounds thinner.



**Note: If you forget to put the saran wrap, you will become very sweaty underneath that duct tape.

Enjoy the thinner things in life!

Almost Flawless Method of Breaking Up.

Tried and Tested...

And it works!

You are in a relationship with someone, things are going sour. You hate breaking up with anyone, wishing you could take the easy route-out and let it fizzle, but it's not. Kate Hudson displayed some good tips on How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days, but allow me to shed some new light on this subject.

Hopefully this person is not in any medical condition that would be terribly affected by this method.

.... Easiest way would be to have them ask for it but if you need to mix it in their food or drink, then so be it.

Give them 4 Tylenol PM. You aren't suppose to exceed more than 8 in 24 hours and it is advised to only have 2 in one period of time but this is an emergency. It will take about 15 to 25 minutes to kick in. Wait until at least 30 minutes after they have consumed your method. Try not to crack a smile. Begin to tell this person its not working out and that you need space. They will be so tired and irritated by noise that they won't care much or remember it too well the next day.

Try it. Test it. Report back.

Good Luck.